you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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