At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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