in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
