The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
