It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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