Where did you get a picture of my penis
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
