no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
