remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
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She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
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She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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