you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
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Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
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Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize