ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
