I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
just tell him i said nine months
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
