I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
