I want to stick my p in your. b.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
