The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
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