I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
