Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i think i have two assholes
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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