I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Randomize
