i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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