I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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