I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
