They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I cut my penus on the lid.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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