Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
