I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
