Actions speak louder than pants.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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