I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I have surprise drugs for everyone
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
