She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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