Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
