Screwed.edu
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
