Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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