He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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