Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
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i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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