So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize