It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
