are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
being pregnant is like rehab
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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