you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Randomize
