I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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