yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize