I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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