If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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