So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
