she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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