you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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