In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
