I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
