well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
