He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
