Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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