I wish my penis had an off switch
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
