can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
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Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
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There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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