i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
last night I used snow as a chaser
soo... how was my night?
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