Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
