I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
