capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
