apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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