I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
