We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
