Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(310): View more from California

i was born a porn star she said

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(404): View more from Georgia

Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.

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(816): View more from Missouri

Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!

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(613): View more from Ontario

I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(760): View more from California

It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.

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(810): View more from Michigan

I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine

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(941): View more from Florida

Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.

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