if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
23 Medical Examiners Reveal The Most Disturbing Causes Of Death They’ve Seen
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.