Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Dicks are not precious.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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