I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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